touchmonkey

I used to be excited about Nintendo’s Next-Generation game platform. The development codename they were using was The Revolution and they were going to revolutionize videogaming through a creative motion-senser type controller that opens the possibility for such fun interactive gaming experiences as wielding a samurai sword where the on screen action replicates the motions you make with the motion-sensing controller in your hand.

My enthusiasm grew as I learned of the way Nintendo would continue to work on their own special type of quirky-yet-addictive games while also devoting resources to third-party developers so cool things like excessively violent games could also launch with the new system… a notable departure from Nintendo’s too-cutesy game design culture that left gamers suffering from saccharine overdose.

But now I just want fill a pillowcase full of… I don’t know… meatballs and frogs… and beat the snot out of whatever Nintendo marketing weenie decided the name for Nintendo’s new console would be the Wii. That’s pronounced “weee” as in what you do shortly after drinking a super big gulp. Or, depending on how juvenile your anatomical nomenclature: what the pee comes out of. Just imagine it: “Hey guys, want to come over to my house and play with my Wii?” I don’t think so.

At first I hoped this was just a clever marketing ploy. You know, make jaws drop with just how stupid the fake name sounds before unveiling the real name — the codename-that-should-have-become-the-real-name Revolution. No such luck. Here’s the official press release